Guilty Feeling

I really felt so sad about what had happened to me this morning, it’s my son birthday and when I telephoned him to have some talk and I greeted him. Guess what? I started to nagged him about his manner in one of his gifts given to him. He criticized the gift by saying it’s ugly and he don’t like it, instead of saying thank you. And, I don’t like that kind of attitude. Before I go further, today is my son’s (Mark) 9th birthday, he don’t have this big celebration. His mommy prepared simple dinner, spaghetti which is my all-time favorite and salad. I told to my son to learn how to appreciate all the things given to him as long it will not harm him, indirectly those gifts are God’s gift to him.

At first, I was so proud of myself to educate him about the value of giving, but then I realized that I’m so insensitive knowing that this day is his birthday. Most of the time, I have this tendency to react first before I think and I’m a melodramatic type of person maybe because I’m living miles away from them or that’s my true nature? I texted my wife to say sorry, I know and I can sensed that I ruined their moods that time. I even told her to open their YM to have some chat with them while I’m on my lunch break, to comfort and change the mood and to lessen my guilty feeling.

Thanks God I spoke to them and everything are fine now, my son Mark even asked me “if I’m still upset” of what had happened this morning and I said yes but “daddy is okay now”. I guess, I still need more lessons to be learn and should always considered that my children are still children, who needed our guide as parents. I hope that someday my kids will be proud of me and my wife (especially my wife, she’s standing as a father and mother since I’m working overseas).

Have a nice day.


About Cool_Eyes (ChrisV)

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20 Responses to Guilty Feeling

  1. Estong says:

    You educating him about appreciating things given to him could be one of the best gifts he got on his birthday, only yours was not wrapped in an attractive packaging. You see, your son realized you were upset so I guess he learned a thing or two about what you told him.

    • Villanueva says:

      Wow, I never think of that 🙂 thanks for reminding me. Actually, he’s the sweetest child I have, sweeter than his older brother and younger sister. Thanks bro.

  2. Cubby says:

    I think you were right to lecture him, even if it was his birthday. Lessons will come every day of the year, rain or shine, and birthdays are no exception, but I am glad you were able to chat with your son and improve the mood. There should always be some balance.

    • Villanueva says:

      Thanks for the advice Cubby, and your words are wisdom to me. This is my first time I realized that lessons comes everyday and birthdays are no exception 😀 next time I’ll be more cautious but I will continue to educate them in a more lighter way. Have a nice day.

  3. sheenmeem says:

    Hi there, you shouldn’t feel guilty in teaching your child manners. That will teach him to be a better person when he grows up. The only thing is not to do it in a harsh way. Feel sorry you are away from your wife and kids.

  4. NOAEfame says:

    Still another blow to my knowledge. You are great. I am excited too probably in future to share parenting ideas. As parents. it is so strange that we learn everyday, Recently I just learned something that blow my mind after 12years of being a parent. We learn everyday. Thank you for sharing. You should talk more often about that. There is nothing wrong with telling them whether it is their birthday or not.

    • Villanueva says:

      Hi NOAfame, sharing parenting ideas that’s really cool and I believe we will both learned from it. Take a lot of care and God blesses you and your family 😀 Cheers

  5. Wow, I SO hear your heart!! Parents would be forgiven much, if they just did what YOU did! Kids need to hear that their parents are human–fallible–subject to moods. It helps them grow in many ways, and they develop increased respect, admiration, and Love for their parents. I realize you don’t know me, but I’m telling you–“you did a great job”. God bless you and your family BIG–abundantly. Love, sis Caddo

    • Villanueva says:

      Thank you so much sis Caddo for your words, truly I’m so touch and enlightened, I hope I can hear more advice and motivation from you. I need some expertise from all you and I’m still on the learning process for being an overseas parent. God bless you too.

  6. Bee says:

    Well said everyone.

  7. BeWithUs says:

    You are a great father, my friend! So don’t feel bad because birthday can be celebrated every year. It may be a little insensitive but correcting an attitude (towards certain moral issues in life), no matter how insignificant it may have looked at that moment, is constantly in need while the child is still young and approachable.

    Take care and be well! Cheers~ 😀

    • Villanueva says:

      Thank you my friend 🙂 I’m so overwhelm with a lots of encouragement from you and from others who followed and advices me. Please take care and have a nice day ;D

      • BeWithUs says:

        You’re welcome!

        That’s because you’ve done a thing that every good father would do!

        You too, take care and be well! Cheers~ 😀

  8. I echo everyone else here. Well done sir, no guilt 🙂

  9. prayingforoneday says:

    I have 4 kids, two sons very late teens, two Daughters under 4 years old..
    I have never been a father to a 19 year old boy before, neither have I been a father to a 4 year old girl before. And there are no rule books either on being a parent. Sure we have Morals we all stick to, but there are no stead fast rules on how to deal with a 17 year old boy coming home 2 hours late and drunk. I had to learn on my feet, as did his Mum, Dawn.
    I had a tendency with the boys aged 10/12 where I was often harsh and the discipline was hard for them. Now they have left High School and College and both work hard in very good jobs and pay Mum £50 in “Dig Money” This is standard for kids who start to work to pay their parents. I don’t know if it happens in all countries. We don’t need the money, but I must teach them the value of money. When they hand over that £50 they will know they are contributing to the running costs of the house. And when they buy clothes, or a Tablet for the Internet, or Laptop, because they worked for it, they appreciate it more. So sometimes, even on Birthdays, tough love is required.
    You are a good parent doing what you did. But like me and all other parents, when we discipline in the slightest we all feel guilt. But it is best we deal with each small issue now than have to deal with a MAJOR issue one day.

    You are a Great Father, this blog alone proves it. Guilt is normal. I been a Father 20 years, and sometimes I will have a go at my oldest son to save his money instead of always spending and leaving himself with no money. It falls on deaf ears now, but one day the penny will drop and the days he has no money, he will have to learn Mummy and Daddy are not going to give him money, he works full time, so he must learn to Budget accordingly..

    Parenting is hard, but so rewarding.
    And also, a late happy Birthday to Mark.
    He will turn out a good a man as you, Why? Because you care, you are here telling all us about how you feel about situations. And by doing to, other parents come into the conversation, and we all learn from each other.
    As I say, there is no rule book, just good values and morals.

    Keeping doing what you are doing my friend, and be proud.
    (As I know you are) 🙂


    • Villanueva says:

      Good morning Shaun,

      Time check it’s 7:02 am here in Saudi Arabia and 12:00pm in the Philippines. Thank you for sharing your experiences as a father to your children, and good advicer as a friend. I guess all of us was inexperience when we started to have own family and inexperience in handling our own children, for us it’s a lesson to be learned everyday. We just wanted to offer the best for them and we wanted to correct the things that we know it’s wrong in the long run. But, of course our children will never be children forever, just like us they are growing and maturing and needed to learn new things for their own development. Sad to say, that we cannot dictate them on the things that we like and we know its right as parents. Constant communication and putting ourselves to our children’s shoes will always the basic solution to avoid age gap or generation gap. Our children just needed a friend and I hope as a parent we can give it to them what they needed, for being a parent and a friend 😀

      Thank you bro,

      • prayingforoneday says:

        Well that that man…yeah.
        My son’s are of getting Married age should he want to (My god I am only 40 years old I am scared)
        I couldn’t imagine either of them as fathers, I was one at 17.
        You are right, we can only advice when they get older and with the younger kids like kids under 5 we teach them right from wrong (sadly they pick up swearing from Nursery) But I know one Dad who swears all the time and laughs when his son does it, if his son swears and my Daughter comes hope aged 5 swearing I will know who to slap till they are crying (Yeah the Father of that Child)
        With kids same age as Mark, I working with kids his age in Soccer for 15 years, this is a VERY crucial age where they are about to learn to be teenagers. And with boys, it is easier. So I hear. Girls I have noticed myself at toddler age they do tend to me more “Needy”

        CHILD>”That is mine I want it”
        Parents> “But honey it is broken glass”
        CHILD>”I still want it Daddy”
        Parent> “There are Bees in the Glass Sweety”
        Child> “I still want it Daddy”

        That kind of wanting.. 🙂

        Good Luck Chris 🙂

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