Disconnected for a Decades

After so many years of longing for my eldest brother who resides in Lapu Lapu City, Cebu. I had a chance to talk with him for the first time. Although, our conversation was not as long as I wanted to be, due of my limited budget load, at least, now I know my eldest brother’s voice. You won’t believe it, we never seen each other since the day I was born or if I do saw him, as per my mother when we used to went on his ancestral place that was the time when I was still a toddler, I can’t remember anything.

I haven’t heard any news from him for decades, until when my mother decided she wants to go to her place, and before we allowed her, my brother and I tried searching for her relatives in Facebook and surprisingly, I found one. A familiar face but I’m not so sure that time when I saw his profile photo, but one thing is for sure, his left eyebrow with lesser hair. I recalled the reason why he has that, it was a tragic moment when he was still a baby. I can’t tell you the details because I’m still affected and it hurt me so much.

Going back to my story, after talking to my eldest brother, though, our conversation was not really clear and was really short, we were very happy to hear our voices. I even asked him if he knew me and know my face and he said “yes”. He said “I saw your family photos, you have three kids” and he told me “maybe you don’t know my face?”, and I replied “I do”, “I saw it, when I asked our cousin to send me one picture of you”. I even told him his old photo etched to my mind when I was really looking for big brother when I’m growing up. I wanted to feel how is like to have a big brother in your side but since he was really far from us, I stand as the eldest brother of my two brothers and two sisters. I was alone in taking care of them literally, from the first day I taught them how to read and write. It was really a hard time for me when I was standing as their mother and father not because my parents are gone but because they both physically present but mentality absence. In short, it was not an ideal family to be with that time. But I thanked both of them, I survived and I might say I pulled them up, to have a much better life compare when I’m growing up with them.

Now, it’s my time to help my eldest brother. I know he had a hard times dealing alone, when there’s no parents guiding him, I felt his agony that he never experience to have a mother on his side. I don’t know if he already meet his father. But for now, I’m glad I spoke with him, this will be the first of our long journey together. Soon, I will be visiting him with my family and spend time together and try to fill the gap of not seeing each other’s because of being disconnected for a decades.

 

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Post Wedding Jitters

It was 8th of February 2002 when I got married at the age of 23. I was very young then and very impulsive in making a decision. I’m not thinking what will be the consequences, as long as, I know that’s the right thing to do. Here’s the catch, when I thought I was ready, I was slapped in face not by my family but the event that I was not prepared for. Back then I was so stupid, to think that everything was alright but in reality, it was not. I’m as a stoic or hard as a stone or I’m wearing a bullet-proof that time, I was not affected of the whispers in my surrounding. It was long story to tell, if I will narrate you everything.

Fast forward to present, my loving wife and I are planning to renew our wedding bows, but this time we both plan for it even the date, catering and cake including our list of visitors unlike before. It will be a very busy days and months for my wife since she’s in charge of this and as much as I wanted to help her but I can’t because presently I’m working abroad. We are both excited for that day to come, she will be wearing her dream wedding gown, and all our closest friends and families will be there to witness it, and of course this is very special wedding unlike before it was only held in a city hall.

My point in making this story;  the past and present of stories of my wedding including how we became more matured throughout the years we spent together. Long distance was not really a hindrance to fulfill your responsibilities and to have a loving family as long as you both trust each others despite of some difficulties you both encountered along the way.

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Too Close

When God spoke to me last night,
He use people to light-up my life.
Choices are laid to me to choose,
If i want to win or lose?

Difficulties in choosing played in my mind,
Not even sure if i can make it all the time.
Temptation will always be there,
And Sin’s too close; beware. 😧

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Thank You 🙏

Prayers were answered and I have seen it,
Although, it’s not that easy to have it.
It takes more time, patience and more faith,
That’s okay, i know He will grant it; just wait.

Answered prayers to a believers just like me,
Always brings hope and expectation to see.
That truly prayers can move mountain,
And blessings will always flow like a fountain.

I know, i know I don’t deserve this,
Only Him has a reason for giving me this wish.
Wishes or prayers, I truly want in a long years,
Now that I have it; it brings joy and my eyes is in tears 😇:'(

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Yes, I can do It 👍

Boredom makes me weak,
I tried to ignore, but still sticking with it.
I left those things in my past,
But now boredom making it last.

How pity I am with this feeling,
Knowing God gave me almost everything.
Now, I’ll try to avoid just like before,
I know I can win once more 😕

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Kung Hei Fat Choi

For a long time, I been hooked in other social media like twitter and FB not even bothered that my little writing skill is starting to fade away. My idea of writing become much shorter and has to limit my ideas because of the allowed characters including space in every post except for FB and Instagram. Well, well, I just came back from my senses that I should not leave my other skill behind especially if writing helps me to polish my English writing. (This is not my mother language)

To give you a glimpse of what make me busy for the long period of time, aside from my work. My wife and I, have this dream project that soon to be materialized. We are just waiting for financial support from trusted people. Soon, you will be hearing a lot of good news from me and hopefully I can post some pictures of my project.

God knows what’s the best for us; if you will just believe and wait for Him to maneuver your life. I remember a good advice from a respectable senior minister that we have last January 2016 when he visited us and held a holy congregation; he said no matter how we plan our life or no matter how we wanted to change our life; we cannot do it alone. We have to believe and pray to our God to help us to have a good and meaningful journey in our lives. There’s a lot of uncertainties in our world today not even the greatest mind in our world can solve these problems. Poverty is no longer in 3rd world countries but in the 1st world countries as well. A lot of diseases, war, restlessness and other chaotic happening in our world today that make us more vulnerable and unsafe; our world nowadays become a Big Den but rapidly becoming smaller due of us who are becoming more impatience and wanted to bite more than we can chew.

Oh well, that’s it for now. Kung Hei Fat Choi (Happy New Year to all Chines friend 🙂 )

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Happy Mother’s Day!

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