After so many years of longing for my eldest brother who resides in Lapu Lapu City, Cebu. I had a chance to talk with him for the first time. Although, our conversation was not as long as I wanted to be, due of my limited budget load, at least, now I know my eldest brother’s voice. You won’t believe it, we never seen each other since the day I was born or if I do saw him, as per my mother when we used to went on his ancestral place that was the time when I was still a toddler, I can’t remember anything.
I haven’t heard any news from him for decades, until when my mother decided she wants to go to her place, and before we allowed her, my brother and I tried searching for her relatives in Facebook and surprisingly, I found one. A familiar face but I’m not so sure that time when I saw his profile photo, but one thing is for sure, his left eyebrow with lesser hair. I recalled the reason why he has that, it was a tragic moment when he was still a baby. I can’t tell you the details because I’m still affected and it hurt me so much.
Going back to my story, after talking to my eldest brother, though, our conversation was not really clear and was really short, we were very happy to hear our voices. I even asked him if he knew me and know my face and he said “yes”. He said “I saw your family photos, you have three kids” and he told me “maybe you don’t know my face?”, and I replied “I do”, “I saw it, when I asked our cousin to send me one picture of you”. I even told him his old photo etched to my mind when I was really looking for big brother when I’m growing up. I wanted to feel how is like to have a big brother in your side but since he was really far from us, I stand as the eldest brother of my two brothers and two sisters. I was alone in taking care of them literally, from the first day I taught them how to read and write. It was really a hard time for me when I was standing as their mother and father not because my parents are gone but because they both physically present but mentality absence. In short, it was not an ideal family to be with that time. But I thanked both of them, I survived and I might say I pulled them up, to have a much better life compare when I’m growing up with them.
Now, it’s my time to help my eldest brother. I know he had a hard times dealing alone, when there’s no parents guiding him, I felt his agony that he never experience to have a mother on his side. I don’t know if he already meet his father. But for now, I’m glad I spoke with him, this will be the first of our long journey together. Soon, I will be visiting him with my family and spend time together and try to fill the gap of not seeing each other’s because of being disconnected for a decades.